"George Clooney’s villa on Lake Como is like a five-star hotel. He has pet ducks from the lake and he sits there feeding them. I had to manoeuvre my equipment around three obese ducks in the hall. My tripod hit a bookshelf and dislodged a heavy atlas, which crashed onto a duck – splat! I squeezed it behind the sofa and put a cushion over it. George came in wearing a pirate’s hat he’d worn at a party the night before. When I told him what a fool he looked he roared with laughter – there was my pic! Then there was a muffled “quack”and a dazed duck waddled out..."